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Second Chances

Updated: Oct 11


This week is a very special week for me as my youngest son celebrates his 29th birthday. Happy Birthday Chris!  I also get the joy of celebrating my 29th year of a second chance.  Let me share a very intimate story about the day my youngest was born, my second chance in life.


The whole pregnancy, my third, was uneventful.  I loved being pregnant! God blessed me to have 3 sons.  Even with morning sickness, I cherished feeling the baby’s movements, experiencing baby hiccups, and even the sudden urgencies to pee.  Every memory is very dear to me. 


My second chance began early in the morning when Chris was born.  It was just an ordinary day.  I had been in the hospital with pre-term labor for 2 weeks.  The doctors were trying to delay delivery until his lungs were ready because they knew Chris would arrive early.  That morning, after the doctors left my room, I simply rolled over in my bed and started bleeding profusely.  The placenta previa and placenta percreta had ruptured.  There was no time to wait.  Chris was about to be born by emergency c-section!


I remember the nurses and doctors rushing me into the operating room, quickly hooking stuff up to me, while the anesthesiologist hurriedly put me to sleep.  However, she did not put me under enough.  I lay there on the table hearing everyone scurrying around me.  It was very noisy and I was still awake, unable to move. Paralyzed but fully aware of what was going on.  Within seconds I felt the doctor cut across my lower belly.  It felt like a fire poker moving across my skin.  I knew I had to do something to make them realize I was still awake and did not want to be.


Unable to move my body, I opened my eyes as wide as I could and glared at the anesthesiologist hovering over me.  She saw me, said a four-letter word and then I was out, but not before I felt another cut.  I remember waking up during surgery and hearing the most awful slamming of metal.  I could not see what was happening at first but knew something was not right.  The nurses and doctors were shouting orders.  I heard someone say, “Hurry she is going to die.  We must deliver the baby and do a hysterectomy immediately."  Then suddenly it was like I was hovering over the surgical room.  I could see them panicking.  It was all so chaotic.  I saw myself lying on the table in a mess, but I was unable to do anything.


Instantly I felt like I was traveling down a bright tunnel.  I realized that this was not good but at the same time, I knew that the bright light was a good sign!  Suddenly, I landed on the front porch of a white house.  I was sitting in a white wicker chair.  I sat there for a minute trying to figure out what happened.  The breeze was gently blowing.  I was so stunned by how beautiful everything was outside.  The sky was a soft blue and the clouds were delicate, white, and fluffy.  The tall grass was the prettiest and greenest grass I had ever seen.  There were so many children playing in that grass; running, laughing, and frolicking with each other.  The children were dressed in their Sunday best, like in the old days when we used to dress up for church.  The little girls were dressed in colorful dresses with white lace socks and matching hair bows.  The boys were dressed in Sunday shorts and button-up shirts. How delightful it was to sit and watch the children play.


I cannot describe how peaceful it all felt.  Never have I ever felt peace like that before.  The vibrant colors around me were nothing but spectacular, unlike what I have seen on Earth.  The sounds of laughter and the gentle breeze made my heart leap with joy. 


Then I heard a distinct and gentle voice.  As I turned my head, I realized there was another white wicker chair sitting to my left.  A white wicker table sat in between.  Two tall glasses of iced tea sat on the table.  As I looked up, I saw a very bright light illuminating from the other wicker chair.  It motioned toward how beautiful everything was before me. 


The peace and beauty were mesmerizing.  The clean smell of the air.  The beautiful sounds of the children laughing.  The colorful grass, trees, and flowers.  The peace of knowing that God was real and that He was there with me was overwhelming.  I did not want to leave.


But then, it was like the light looked toward me and offered the opportunity to go back and raise my boys or to stay there.  Boy, that was a very tough decision.  But like most people do, I started bargaining for more time with my boys.  This was the beautiful place I had longed for all my Christian life.  But the knowledge of having 2 sons (ages 5 and 7) and a preemie tugged at my heart.  I asked God if He would let me go back just long enough to raise them in church and get them through school.  And then, when they were done with school, I would gladly come back to stay when He called me back.  At the time it seemed like the right thing to do as a mother, but oh the struggle.


As soon as I said "go to the boys", it was like I got sucked into another tunnel and when I came out of the tunnel, I was lying in neuro-intensive care on a ventilator.  I think every orifice was plugged with a tube and I had multiple IVs.  I was so scared at first because as a healthcare worker, I realized the severity of the situation.  I lifted my right hand to my face and neck because something was pinching me.  It was the tape from the central line that they had to put in to save my life.  At that point, I truly realized things were not so good and I began panicking on the inside! 


Attempting to calm myself, I started reciting one of my favorite verses, Isaiah 40:31, in my mind repeatedly.  “But those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength.  They will soar on wings of eagles.  They will run and not grow weary.  They will walk and not be faint.”  I repeated that over and over until I started to calm down.  Getting anxious caused the ventilator to alarm so I knew I had to get it together or they would knock me out with medicine.  And I did not want that! 


In my mind, I hummed Christian songs of hope, peace, and healing.  I could not talk because of the tube in my throat so I motioned for the nurse that I wanted to write something.  The nurse brought me a pad and pencil and I scribbled, “Did I die?”  She was silent.  She did not have to answer because I could tell by the look on her face. 


As the day continued, I watched as my mama and daddy came in.  It broke my heart for them to see me this way.  I couldn’t see my boys either.  Other nurses and doctors would walk by my room, point and whisper, telling each other about what happened and how lucky I was.  That afternoon, a team of doctors came in and stood around me discussing my case.  The chief doctor was telling them that I needed a miracle, comparing me to another lady who had a similar situation, but unfortunately died.  Then, suddenly, I heard a female voice speaking from the back of the group say, “Oh yes, she’s going to live.”   Although I heard her voice clearly, I did not see a female in the group!  I still believe to this day that it was the voice of my guardian angel!


Every time the nurse came in to check on me, I motioned for her to raise the head of my bed a little.  Still singing and quoting scriptures in my mind, I knew God would take care of me because my guardian angel had already said so.  By the time the doctors came back that evening, they were amazed that I was sitting upright!  I was extubated.  And the first thing I said, with my raspy voice, was “If you don’t know my Jesus, I need to tell you all about Him!”


So here I am, still living on borrowed time, my second chance at life.  Some days I wish I had said yes to staying in Heaven.  But I am forever grateful that God allowed me to raise 3 amazing sons who trust God and are raising their own families with honor, respect, and love.  I am heaven-bound and ready when He calls my name.


A few years ago, my middle son was hit head-on by an impaired driver, in his lane of travel.  He was riding his motorcycle, and the impact killed him instantly.   He was only 27 and had just graduated from Campbell University with two bachelor’s degrees and had just started a little business.  I was so proud of him.  There are so many things I can tell you about that difficult journey after losing my son, but that will have to wait for another time.  I recently wrote a book about that journey and how I finally found purpose again.   I share how God was with him during his death and how God pulled me out of a very dark place.  The book is called Forever Changed: A Story of Hope. (Order the online version at https://www.blurb.com/b/12106883-forever-changed-a-story-of-hope). If you can't buy one, please email me, and I'll send you one.)


I have shared these two special stories for several reasons.  First, life is going to happen, and we have no control over it.  But we must be ready to meet God at any time, just like Corey and me.  Jesus died on the cross so that everyone could be saved and know, without a doubt, that they would have eternal life in Heaven.  I know Heaven is real.  I witnessed the beauty and peace of Heaven myself.  And I remain Heaven-bound! 


Second, some things happen in our lives that we will never understand.  Me dying during childbirth and then tragically losing my son were things I would never have predicted for my life.  I thought I had a strong faith, but oh how hard it was to navigate those times.  I don’t know the ‘why’ it all happened, but I know God’s plan is always best, no matter how bad it hurts. 


Third, I was simply having a baby that day when God suddenly called me home.  No one expected that I would lay dead on the operating table for almost 45 minutes.  But I was ready and had lived my life according to God’s will.  While they worked hard to keep me alive, I got the privilege of experiencing Heaven and all its glory!  There was beauty and peace beyond all understanding.  As a healthcare worker, I have witnessed people who died and were brought back to life begging the doctors to not let them go back.  No doubt they had seen the dark side of death.  I have also seen people die, who happily embraced the angels as they carried them to Heaven.  Two totally different experiences!  Two totally different outcomes.


I have cherished my second lease on life, my second chance.  For 29 years I have told others about God’s gift of salvation.  I have shared how important it is to be saved and to be ready should you die instantly.  If you are not saved, I need to tell you all about my Jesus! 


I also live my life walking in His glory, even during daily struggles, because I know where I am headed, and I can’t wait to get there.  People fear dying, but I don’t because I know God is real.  And one day I will get to experience that unbelievable peace again.  Sitting on the porch, drinking some good ole sweet tea, and just talking to Jesus!  What more could anyone ask for?

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